…it just seems that way. There’s plenty of entertainment to be had in this election, and I must say that John McCain and Sarah Palin have provided us with some of the best laughs since Bill Clinton pointed at the camera and said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

Given that my life is stupendously uneventful, I have can only write about my unintelligent political opinions.

I saw these posts on: http://election.twitter.com/ (Now before you click on the link, be warned… it is dangerously hypnotic. It’s a carnival of election updates, jokes, youtube videos, bigotry, lies, accusations, spittle, and vile, stinky insults that endlessly stream for your tweeting pleasure, and I have to say that the best thing about it is, you know full well whether the person posting is a Democrat, a Republican, or an Independent, so you don’t ever accidentally stumble into a party that you probably shouldn’t be in.)

Post No. 1 “Were women angry Hillary was not chosen by Obama?”

Now, I don’t know about you, but I speak for my vast and secret army of minions–I was not angry that Obama did not choose Hillary Clinton. I did hope for it, yes. I had wished at some point that Obama would do the political thing and take Hillary Clinton as a running mate, because damn–what a wonderful matchup that would’ve been, Hillary vs. Sarah. I can see their debates being the main event. And at every barb they trade, you’re either marvelling at the magnificence of women in heated debate or wishing they would just tear their clothes off and wrestle in a vat of Vaseline.

“And tonight’s moderator: Dana White.”

I can still almost taste it.

So when I got word that Obama was going to choose a man as a Vice President, I said, “So it’s Hillary?” When I realized that they were talking about Joe Biden and not Hillary “Ball Buster” Clinton, Mr. Hillary Clinton’s wife, I admit that I suffered a few minutes of disappointment.

Why? Why, Obama? Sure, she besmirched your good name and resorted to dirty, low-blow tactics to win the nomination, but can’t you set that aside for the good of the presidential campaign? You and Hillary… you would’ve made a killing! Like Bonnie and Clyde. Sonny and Cher. Harold and Kumar. Jack and Rose!

But after my disappointment waned, I realized that Obama did the right thing after all. He chose integrity over a theoretically certain win. After all that’s said and done, Obama couldn’t choose a Vice President who was so viciously against him in the primaries. It would be appalling to lead with someone who had genuinely offended him and tried to bring him down with her as the primaries ended. He had chosen someone he could work with. I couldn’t say if Joe Biden would make a better Vice President than Hillary Clinton, but Obama trusts him, and that’s what’s important.

Post No. 2: “Most of the women that are so AGAINST Palin, they’re just speaking from a jealous heart. Stop your jealousy! Vote McCain!!!”

I wonder if I fall in the most or least category. Am I speaking from a jealous heart? Or could I quite possibly be… oh, speaking my mind? Because not voting for Palin’s party has nothing to do with my heart. I’m perfectly capable of feeling absolutely nothing for Palin. What I think is that I’m not quite prepared to have Palin sit as Vice President because her foreign policy experience has to do with seeing Russia from her house. Let me tell you something, Joe. I can see the moon from my window, but that doesn’t make me qualified to be an astronaut or to negotiate with moon aliens.

If I EVER feel jealous of Sarah Palin, I will take a drill and bore it into my skull.

Post No. 3: “McCain sez the C word”

Well… he was talking about Bush.